I need me some ESPN Deportes

My blazon prediction for the Australian Open didn't work out like I had hoped. However, I think it sets a good trend for future posts: predicting stuff that has a very small chance of happening then consequently looking like either a dumbass or a genius. Allright.

NBA TALK

Cleveland is now 8-2 sans The LeBrons. I don't really know how to react to this and am not going to bother to look up who the games were against but it seems like something to note.

Their game against Detroit before the Super Bowl was fun to watch. Webber sporting number 84 is strange though. Apparently his nephew called when he was trying to figure out which number to take and told him that he dreamed C-Webb hit a shot and was wearing 84. Too bad that's not his kid with Tyra. Definitely what Webber was thinking.

Highlights of the game included Ilgauskas calling LeBron to pass him the ball at the top, Varejao not getting enough minutes, and me saying Rasheed Wallace in a hushed wisper every two to three minutes like I imagine Samuel L. Jackson would.

Apropos of nothing, Chris Bosh looks like an actual raptor. How did this happen? Also, why am I not going to Vegas for NBA All Star Weekend? Very unfortunate.

SUPER BOWL TALK

At least the first quarter was exciting. Could it have killed the Bears to score a second half touchdown? My favorite part of the entire week was a Clinton Portis interview I caught on ESPN mid-day crapfest 1st and 10. Now I couldn't tell you who interviewed Portis, but I assure you that: One, he was really white. Two, it was awesome.

Standard operating interview procedure. Portis and host sitting two feet apart behind an open air desk. Immediately the host tries to touch Clinton Portis on the shoulder or arm in what he believes to be a friendly gesture. Portis won't have any of it and slides away at least another 18".

Host: Where's the best place to get some sun?
Portis: The nude beach.
Host: What is the highlight of the week?
Portis: Working on Taekwondo, jump kicks and playing Frisbee with kids.
Host: Are you going to stab me?
Portis: Probably not.
Host: Ladies and gentlemen, Clinton Portis.